Will you blow on my dice?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
