He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I would fuck him just for his dog
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
