love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
