I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
All I want is dick and wine.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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