I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I stole a fireplace last night.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
