He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
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