They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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