There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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