she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
