Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
