if i died would you start the facebook group?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
