I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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