bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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