Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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