1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
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