He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
