i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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