There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
