I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Maybe he injected his testicle?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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