Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
