I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
