Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
