you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
