Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
