a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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