i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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