Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
