It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
