Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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