just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
