Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
