I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
