i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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