Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
