It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
