Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
It's rum buckets o'clock
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
