I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
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