what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
