just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
