Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
home. puking in laundry basket.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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