i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
