I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
He uses pillows to masturbate.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
