You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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