I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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