Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
