im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Randomize
