lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
