I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
