Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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