I'm jealous of your bromance
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
