Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
